Life Ain't Always Beautiful: October 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A list....what have you done?

If it's bold, I've done it. How many have you done?

1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby’s diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said “I love you” and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31 hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don’t
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103 Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Prepared a dish where four people asked for the recipe
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait pa
inted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz and polka.
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a campfire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Responded to a NJP newsletter

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A new baby--

or two.

Nope, not mine but my cousins'. Peter and Jeremy are brothers. They both just became fathers (Jerry for the second and Peter for the first time) this week.

Jerry and his wife Dena welcomed another little girl , Ana Lynn on October 10th. Peter and his wife Michelle received thier long-awaited miracle on the 14th.--Tatyana

Congratulations, guys!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Why?

I started thinking about this yesterday, and I guess the
epiphany moment for me was that "weight-loss" itself can not, IS not,
my "WHY."

My "why" has to be more tied into what I want out of
life, my longterm dreams, my goals, my aspirations in life. How can I
possibly get excited, how can I possibly dedicate myself to something
that I have not linked to the more important things I want out of life.
Yeah, I want to fit into smaller jeans, but c'mon, when I lay back on
my deathbed and think of the important things in life, am I really
going to reflect back to the day I finally fit into a pair of skinny
jeans? Maybe, but probably not.
I realized that my "WHY" are my
larger life goals, the things I want, my dreams, and that weightloss is
merely one tiny step, one tiny part of that "why." A healthy lifestyle
is merely a tool that will allow me to live longer and pursue the kind
of active lifestyle I want. And I guess what I am saying is that
somewhere along this journey I lost that perspective, and a little bit
of myself, as well. I did ultimately come to view myself as a number on
the scale and that was a measurement of success/failure that I clung
too. And it was for that number that I worked the various programs,
with the goal being to get skinny. And of course, I had other reasons
"to improve my heath" and to feel better, but I completely lost what
that meant or why it was important. Simply losing became the goal and,
honestly, a shallow, unsustainable, and hollow one. No wonder I burnt
out, no wonder I can't find dedication. If someone at the end of my
life asked, "and what did you do with your life?" and my answer was "I
lost a lot of weight," that would be really, really sad. And of course,
not true, because I was a good mother, a good friend, a good wife, a
caring person, but in terms of the goals that I set for myself and
carried out, if losing was my only goal, I would not be satisfied,
because losing weight in and of itself is simply not enough of a "why."

Getting
skinny is not going to take me to my goals and dreams, but it is a step
towards them, not something I am simply doing for getting skinny's
sake. At the same time, that being said, there are a lot of other
steps/transformations that I need to be doing at the same time I am
working my towards my weightloss goals. My weightloss is not my
lifelong dream, it is a step towards the kind of life I want, but that
life is not going to be magically waiting there for me once I hit goal.
Larger dissatisfactions are not just going to melt away cause I am
skinny. Shaky relationships are not going to miraculously improve just
cause I got skinny. My self esteem is not going to magically improve
because I am skinny (it may improve some, but so far, it hasn't). It
just isn't.

So, I have decided to go about this weightloss thing
from a slightly different angle, not as a goal in and of itself, but as
a step towards the larger things I want out of life.

My "WHY" is
ultimately to be able to live the kind of life that I want to lead. I
want to lead an active, fit lifestyle so that I don't ever feel my age.
I want to be spared the kind of health problems my mom has. I want to
be happy and proud of myself.

Anyway, I am not sure that this makes sense to anyone outside my head. But I wanted to write it down for myself and share it...

What have you done today?

I look into the window of my mind

Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind

I step out of the ordinary

I can feel my soul ascending

I am on my way

Can't stop me now

And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

It's never too late to try

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

You could be so many people

If you make that break for freedom

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know

Realise that to question is how we grow

So I step out of the ordinary

I can feel my soul ascending

I am on my way

Can't stop me now

And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

It's never too late to try

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

You could be so many people

If you make that break for freedom

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change

Do it today

I can feel my spirit rising

We need a change

So do it today

'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

'Cause you could be so many people

If you make that break for freedom

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

What have you done today

You could be so many people?

Just make that break for freedom

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Mental Illness Awareness Week

Mental Illness Awareness Week is October
5-11. That same week, our presidential candidates will hold a “town
hall” debate—in which up to a quarter of the audience are likely to have
experienced a mental illness.

That’s because one in four
adults lives with depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental illnesses every year. That’s almost 60
million Americans.

Mental illness does not
discriminate between Republicans and Democrats. It can strike anyone at any
time.

Mental health is part of health care and it is essential
that it be included in the nation’s health care reform debate.

Mental illness affects children. It affects people of color.
Two million Americans live with schizophrenia—twice the number of those with
HIV/AIDS. One in five veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan—almost 300,000
troops—will experience major depression or PTSD upon returning home. Unfortunately,
two-thirds of people who live with mental illnesses do not receive treatment.

But treatment works. Recovery is possible. Between now and
Election Day, every candidate needs to talk about these facts.

For more information, contact the
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 800-950-NAMI (6264) or visit www.nami.org.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Fun with Wordle.net

Why I do what I do:

I am the one in many
people's lives who provides them with their basic human needs. What others may
take for granted - washing, dressing, bathing, eating - some people are unable
to perform these tasks and they depend on me. I am the one who goes to great
lengths to maintain their privacy and dignity while helping them do things that
many others are able to do on their own. I am the one they rage at, venting
their frustration, anger, confusion and fear. I am the one who performs care,
even though doing so will often put me in the position of being physically and
verbally abused at the hands of those I care for.

I am the one who rides out the storms of my resident’s emotions right alongside
of them. I am the one who searches high and low throughout the building for a
misplaced item that one of my residents is desperately looking for. I am the
one who hears "I want to leave" from the lips of my residents
sometimes several times a night, and comforts them the best way I know how. I
am the one offering hugs and smiles in a dark and lonely world, where many
times, the staff becomes the only family a resident has. I become their source
of love, acceptance and friendship. I am the one who tries to quell loneliness
and depression in the people I care for, sometimes resorting to singing,
sometimes just acting silly to coax a smile. I am the one who makes them know
that someone still cares about them.

I am the one who listens when no one else listens. I listen as my residents
repeat stories from their past over and over again, and offer my words of
amazement or encouragement over their accomplishments and memories. I am the
one who validates them as a person, who ensures they know they still have great
worth as a human being, even though they are mentally ill and their lives have
changed, I always try to offer hope where it is needed.

This is why I do what I do. Does your job offer that satisfaction?