Super excited--

I've always been interested in running. It seems like a good workout.. I enjoyed doing it when I was in elementary school and I have multiple people in my life RAVING about it-- so imagine my surprise when

Did you ever?

Did you ever hear a song that spoke the words that you longed to say, long after the situation was over? Long past the time of the other party caring? There is this one song  that- every time I hear it--makes me want to go back and say the exact words to someone. I won't name names, but I am sure it'll be obvious to a few of you. (I made a few tense changes, to make it make better sense)

According to you
I was stupid,
I was  useless,
I couldn't do anything right.
According to you
I was difficult,
Hard to please,
Forever changing my mind.
I was a mess in a dress,
Couldn't show up on time,
Even if it would've saved my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
Incredible,
He can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
Irresistible,
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
So baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.

According to you
I was boring,
I was moody,
You couldn't take me any place.
According to you
I sucked at telling jokes cause I always gave it away.
I was the girl with the worst attention span;
You were the boy who put up with it.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
Incredible,

He can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
Irresistible,
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
So baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.

I needed to feel appreciated,
Like I wasn't hated. oh-- no--.
Why couldn't  you see me through his eyes?

Beannachtam na Femle Padraig!!

 

 

Go raibh do ghloine lán go deo.
Go raibh láidir go breá
an dion thar do cheann.
Go raibh tú í Neamh,
leathúair os comhair
a bhfuil a fhíos ag an diabhal
atá tú bás.

 

(May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head.
be always strong.
May you be in heaven 
a half hour before 
the devil knows you're dead.)

FYI to whom it may concern:

My feelings for you are complicated, the only thing I know for sure is that you make me smile and I will continue to fight for that.

Random

Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Nope. :)


Last person you kissed calls you, what are they calling you for?

Umm, to make some random comment or joke most likely-- just to make me giggle.


Do you ever think about the past?

always


Do you have any plans Friday?

Not yet...they're usually last minute.


What's your favorite thing to do when you're bored?

nap


Who are the last 5 text messages from in your inbox?

Josh and Steve


What were you doing an hour ago?

Clocking in to work :)


In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence?

yep


What're you wearing right now?

Jeans and a torrid tee


Who was the last person to lay in bed with you?

Josh


Have you ever kissed somebody driving?

yes


What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead?

Sleeping?


So you want to see somebody right now?

yes.


Would you rather sing or dance in front of 100,000 people?

Oh God..neither.


Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math?

Math


Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yes--and this time it was his fault --But it was a good cry.


Are you a forgiving person?

Honestly..not really.


What are you listening to?

Michelle talking...she's amazing.


Did anyone see your last kiss?

Just the people at the stop light.


Last people you rode in a car with?

Josh


Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

ROFL, of course


Are you nice to everyone?

No..I'm not a nice person generally.


Last movie you saw in theaters and with who?

It's been a while, but I think it was the Hangover with Deb


Where was your default taken?

UNO Mavs game.


What color are your underwear?

Blue today.


What's on your mind right now?

How much I need to go back to sleep.


What are you doing right now?

Listening to Michelle


Are you jealous of someone right now?

yup


Do you still talk to the person who hurt you most in your life?

Almost daily


When you're bored in class, what do you usually do?

Umm, I think I wrote stories or notes


How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

Well..I think my mom went out and got one too, lol.


Is there anyone you want to come see you?

Yep :)


What are you looking forward to?

Sleeping


Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?

yes


Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

Yes.


Does the last person you kissed still like you?

yes :) I know it.


Meet anyone new this year?

yes


Have you ever tripped while walking up the stairs?

Have you met me?


Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?

Yep


What are you doing tonight?

sleeping



Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love?

Sure, why not.


Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?

yup


If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

yes


Where do you wish you were right now?

Honestly..In bed.


Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?

A few times, damn cell phone.


Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind?

well, duh?


If you could go back in time and change something, would you?

Not really, I'm moving past that.


Is it easy for you to talk to people of the opposite sex?

yea


Do you think more about the past, present, or future?

all of them, mostly future


Honestly, did you really love the last person you said I love you too?

Yea


This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yes


Are you highly attracted to anyone right now?

yes


Have you ever dyed your hair?

ROFL, yeah


Do you look anything like your bestfriend?

LOL, yes.


Are you in High School?

No


Do you have a favorite letter?

F


As of this minute, what is going through your mind?

Only 7 hours to go


What color is your shirt:

Grey


If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?

I'm pissed..or sleeping.


Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?

No...I don't do "ships"


Who did you last text?

Josh


How do you feel about our current president, Barack Obama?

I <3 him...so sue me.


Name something you dislike about the day you're having?

That I'm awake.


If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?

fall


Do you like when people play with your hair?

OMG, yes


Are you someone who worries too often?

I can


If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad?

I'm not sure...that's an odd thought.



Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yes


Have you ever used your bra/underwear to hold things like you would a pocket?

Rofl, yep


Is any part of you sad at all?

Well, sure


Did you lay with someone last night?

Just the cat


Was your last kiss sober or drunk?

Me sober, them drunk


Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?

Torrid


What is wrong with you right now?

im tired?



Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Jeans



Where do your best friends live?

Way the crap in Iowa


Favorite color?

grey


What was the first thing you did this morning?

Shower


Who was the first person you saw this morning?

Sena and Michelle


Was yesterday fun?

OMG yes!


Last person of the opposite sex in your room?

The same one as always...



Can you sing?

i wish!


How many scars do you have?

a few


Will you be drunk in the next 24 hours?

no


What color is your bedroom door?

Wood?


Did you resolve your last big fight?

No..probably never will


What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?

Working


What are your initials?

RLG


How many kids do you want to have?

Just the ones that I do


What are you looking forward to in the next three months?

VEGAS!!


Do you usually apologize first?

yes-- and it makes me angry that I give in so easy.


Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?

yes


How many pillows are on your bed?

Right now? 5


When's the last time you said you were okay, but really weren't?

um all the time


Is there anyone who doesn't like you?

I'm sure there are.


Are you in a good mood right now?

Meh


Is there someone who has made a difference in your life?

Several


Have you ever had your heart broken?

mhm


Do you drop your phone a lot?

LOL, yeah



What color are the pants you're wearing?

Blue?


Do you love your parents?

yes


Do you drink more water or juice?

Water


Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?

a resident most likely



What is the last drink you drank?

Diet Pepsi




How long is your hair?

Shoulder ish


Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?

Tis a running joke


What is your favorite key chain on your keys?

My naked fairy


What is in your pocket?

Keys, chapstick, iPod, badge, money.


When is your birthday?

Oct 9


What's the area code for your cell phone?

402


Do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher?

Didn't go to kindergarten :)


When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?

yea


What color are your eyes?

Blue


How tall are you?

5'3


Do you look more like your mom or your dad?

Mom


How long does it take you to shower?

20 minutes?


What movie do you want to see?

A few


Was your mom a cheerleader?

Doubt it


What is the last letter of your middle name?

e


How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

-9?


Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?

always


Are you scared of flying?

Just the taking off and landing part.


What do you sleep in?

Pajamas


What jewelry do you wear all the time?

Star necklace


What is your favorite song at the moment?

LOL Smiley Face


Do you like chocolate?

my favorite <3


Are you easy to get along with?

Sure

Everything is waiting for you...

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

The Single life...

There was a time In my life when There was no place
I'd rather be, Than with you,I  loved you desperately,
On my mind all the time,I gave you every kind
of love I could give,You broke my heart
I thought I'd never live.Every tear that I cried
It made me stronger(made me stronger)
An' I don't want No-one by my side.
I got myself a single life-- it's bringing me joy,
Single life.

I'm living and now I've found I don't need you
Now I'm out on my own Single life feels so right!

Truth

I don’t know. I’ll be the bigger person, I just need to be strong enough. I am strong at other things in life, believe me. My broken heart will keep on reminding me that sometimes I will miss him and sometimes I wont, but thinking of him is just a never ending force. Sincere and honest truth, there is only one person who can fix it- the one who broke it. But, it's something that he can't/won't ever fix. Not sure if I'd let him try. I'm finding that I can stand on my own, it's shaky and scary and utterly perplexing, but I can do it. Just watch.

Time told.

Well, He called... and texted. A ton. I don't think it's been more than 8 hours with out hearing from him in someway since last friday. Huh.

A random gift :)

 So, I'm sitting at home last night and get a text message from my girl Deb who wants me to come out to her dad and step-mom's anniversary party. Now normally, I am not a huge fan of parties where I don't know anyone but Deb is being very  persuasive about it.  I say no initially...so she tells me that she's got a birthday gift for me there. I like presents, so I tell her to send me a picture.... and OMG!!! Holy hot scruffy DJ neighbor of her dad's Batman! So I get all dressed up and head out to small town Iowa for a anniversary party for people I don't really know.

Once there, I get to meet hot DJ :) who is very obviously drunk but charming nonetheless. He tells me he's 37 (very obviously not) and black (again, obviously not) and seems shocked when I don't fall for his bullshit. He then begins telling me about himself, Name Josh, occupation DJ, just moved to IA from Houston.  There's is a good amount of "chemistry" between the two of us and we exchange phone numbers and photos from our phones.  I look at his mom, who happes to live next door to Deb's dad... and tell her that I am going to do inappropriate things with her son. She gives her blessing. (To her credit, she was also drunk at the time) 

Conversation flows, the alcohol flows and soon it's time to go home.  Josh walks me to the car and gives me a big hug and kiss goodbye. He promises to call soon...time will tell.

Who am I?

I am wistful and optimistic,

I wonder what's next;

I hear the sound of laughter

 and I see your smile.

I want faith and desire-

I am wistful and optimistic.

I pretend to be brave;

I feel the waves crashing about me.

I touch the pause button;

and I worry about the end results.

I cry over the lost me and the chances that were never taken.

I am wistful and optimistic

 

I understand that I can be me;

I say lets run and don't look back.

I dream of what's to come and what will never be again.

I try to be me,

 I hope for faith and desire-

I am wistful and optimistic

Touched a nerve....

I read a list today and two things on it touched a nerve: If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
and Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Oh, how true they both are.

I
am currently in a "relationship", that is unknown to everyone but a
select few. Why? He's still married, in the process of divorce, but
still legally, technically married. I was "legally technically" married
when we began this relationship, but I felt it okay to tell a few
people. He's not of the same mind.  So no one  (but a select few) knows
and no one else will know until the divorce is final. But then, he
moves to Korea and will be gone a year...so there's another year that
I'll be alone and miserable. I hate this more and more everyday. I am
just not feeling being in a relationship anymore.I'm losing sight of
myself again.It like I jumped right from a wife..to His girl and didn't
stop to find myself in between...and then no one but you (and work
people) and his parents know about it..and I hate that. I have a
sincere need to be acknowledged.

So, my problem is--How
do I tell him that? I don't want to stop seeing him completely, I just
want to have time to myself and maybe explore the possibility of seeing
other people (no one in particular).

Why do I have such a hard time with this?

On this day of your life, Becky, we believe God wants you to know...
... that when people tell you nice things, stop shrugging them off as if they are nothing.

The sincere compliments you receive are your jewels, - collect them in your heart, - they highlight the beauty of your being and empower you during challenging times. Never say 'oh, it's nothing' or shrug your shoulders when you hear a sincere compliment. Pause, breath it in, and really feel its meaning.

 

 

I got this message from Facebook this morning, and it struck me as something that I should listen to. I really have a hard time accepting compliments/praise from other people yet I have really low self-esteem. You'd think that I'd eat it up, wouldn't you? But no, I think hearing things like this make it worse--as you feel as if people are joking and not being truthful with you. But that is probably just me.

 

 

 

Joining a Volksmarching club!

What is Volkssport?

A Volkssport is an organized non-competitive walk, bicycle, swim, or crosscountry ski which is designed to appeal to people of all ages. It is NOT a contest of speed or endurance. Everyone completes the course at his or her own pace, for instance, participants of a walk event may walk, crawl, jog, stroll, run, or use a wheelchair. Some events may not be suitable for wheelchairs or baby strollers, and each event is given a Trail Rating. Routes are circuitous and the finish is at the starting point. The most common distances are 5, 10, and 20 kilometers. Volkssporting is a family oriented activity!

If you like volkssporting, consider purchasing an "Event" book and/or a "Distance" book. These books are used to record the number of events you participate in and distance (cumulative) completed. The International Federation of Popular Sports (IVV) issues special awards to participants who complete specified milestones (10, 30, 50, etc. events and 500, 1000, 1500, etc. kilometers).

*********

 

Doesn't that sound like fun?

Excited!

I'm taking a girls trip to Vegas soon!! We have the official reason of my high school reunion to thank for this opportunity, but it's gonna be so much more fun than that!

On this day-- (my thoughts on the inauguration)

This is America's moment of change--the spontaneous chanting of the crowds, the palpable excitement in the air- the teary smiles of joy and hope- the faces filled with unbridled expectation waving flags, holding hands, listening to the grandiose swelling of the music that fills the frigid air. The world is watching us say that the freedom of a people to chose it's leaders is the foundation of the liberty that we so fiercely defend with our lives, our hearts and our dreams.

I still have goose bumps.

I can't believe it's finally here!

Today history will be made !  

 

 

 

Random Word Sunday-- Happy

 

Random Word Sunday--

Word is the word...

"Auld lang syne"

Did you know that the meaning of the phrase "auld lang syne" is
(roughly) "times gone by"? That when we sing "We'll drink a cup of
kindness for auld lang syne" we are saying that we'll have a drink in
memory of old times? I didn't know the actual translation until just
now, having just just looked it up but like me, you may have previously guessed at the meaning from the
context of the song. It just makes sense. New years is traditionally a
time of reflection. As we look inward and think on the state of our
lives, we inevitably think about the things about ourselves we'd like
to change. In the best tradition of the holiday, we then set new year's
resolutions with the intention of changing ourselves for the better in
the coming year.

Despite everyone's best intentions, we all
know what tends to happen next. We give up on our resolutions (usually
sometime in February) and give up on changing ourselves until the
following year.

Though
people really do want the benefits they expect to gain from engaging in
new habits and behaviors-- In
the heat of the moment, when things get emotional or painful or
uncomfortable or inconvenient, people tend to just say "Screw it! This
is just too difficult" and they give up.

So, how does one go about setting a resolution that will stick?

Start by answering this question, "Is this the best time
for me to be making life changes?"

The next thing to do is to prioritize. Make your resolution be that you will take on only the one
most important self-help project right now.

The more personally motivated you are
to meet your task, the better are your chances of sticking with your
self-help project until you've achieved results.

Having settled on a single self-help goal, you next need to refine your goal so that it becomes realistic:
something you can actually accomplish. It is of no use to say, "I want
to lose weight", because that goal has no end specified. Implicit in
the idea of losing weight is that you will eventually arrive at a place
where you are done.

Some amount of research
on your part is generally necessary to figure out how you can best
address and meet your goal. You must figure out what methods are best
to use in order to accomplish your goal, and, as well, you must figure
out how you will measure progress you make towards meeting your goal.

As an example of the importance of selecting good methods,
consider that there are many different ways that someone can embark on
a weight loss project.

Having laid out the details of your plan, write them down
so that you will remember them. Write down your micro-goal, as well as
your starting point and the ending point that defines the moment when
you will have met your current micro-goal.

Post your written plan in a public place,
and generally announce to people around you that you are going to be
working on your plan. See if you can recruit them to help keep you
motivated and honest.

Measure your progress
towards your goal, and (if you can stand it) post those measurements in
a public place where people who care about you will see them. You can help make the work easier to accomplish by
nurturing your motivation to succeed. One of the best ways to do this
is to connect with other people who are working on
the same goal as yourself. 

--

Now a quick plug for an awesome site that has been a amazing source of inspiriation, knowledge and support.