or two.
Nope, not mine but my cousins'. Peter and Jeremy are brothers. They both just became fathers (Jerry for the second and Peter for the first time) this week.
Jerry and his wife Dena welcomed another little girl , Ana Lynn on October 10th. Peter and his wife Michelle received thier long-awaited miracle on the 14th.--Tatyana
Congratulations, guys!
I started thinking about this yesterday, and I guess the
epiphany moment for me was that "weight-loss" itself can not, IS not,
my "WHY."
My "why" has to be more tied into what I want out of
life, my longterm dreams, my goals, my aspirations in life. How can I
possibly get excited, how can I possibly dedicate myself to something
that I have not linked to the more important things I want out of life.
Yeah, I want to fit into smaller jeans, but c'mon, when I lay back on
my deathbed and think of the important things in life, am I really
going to reflect back to the day I finally fit into a pair of skinny
jeans? Maybe, but probably not.
I realized that my "WHY" are my
larger life goals, the things I want, my dreams, and that weightloss is
merely one tiny step, one tiny part of that "why." A healthy lifestyle
is merely a tool that will allow me to live longer and pursue the kind
of active lifestyle I want. And I guess what I am saying is that
somewhere along this journey I lost that perspective, and a little bit
of myself, as well. I did ultimately come to view myself as a number on
the scale and that was a measurement of success/failure that I clung
too. And it was for that number that I worked the various programs,
with the goal being to get skinny. And of course, I had other reasons
"to improve my heath" and to feel better, but I completely lost what
that meant or why it was important. Simply losing became the goal and,
honestly, a shallow, unsustainable, and hollow one. No wonder I burnt
out, no wonder I can't find dedication. If someone at the end of my
life asked, "and what did you do with your life?" and my answer was "I
lost a lot of weight," that would be really, really sad. And of course,
not true, because I was a good mother, a good friend, a good wife, a
caring person, but in terms of the goals that I set for myself and
carried out, if losing was my only goal, I would not be satisfied,
because losing weight in and of itself is simply not enough of a "why."
Getting
skinny is not going to take me to my goals and dreams, but it is a step
towards them, not something I am simply doing for getting skinny's
sake. At the same time, that being said, there are a lot of other
steps/transformations that I need to be doing at the same time I am
working my towards my weightloss goals. My weightloss is not my
lifelong dream, it is a step towards the kind of life I want, but that
life is not going to be magically waiting there for me once I hit goal.
Larger dissatisfactions are not just going to melt away cause I am
skinny. Shaky relationships are not going to miraculously improve just
cause I got skinny. My self esteem is not going to magically improve
because I am skinny (it may improve some, but so far, it hasn't). It
just isn't.
So, I have decided to go about this weightloss thing
from a slightly different angle, not as a goal in and of itself, but as
a step towards the larger things I want out of life.
My "WHY" is
ultimately to be able to live the kind of life that I want to lead. I
want to lead an active, fit lifestyle so that I don't ever feel my age.
I want to be spared the kind of health problems my mom has. I want to
be happy and proud of myself.
Anyway, I am not sure that this makes sense to anyone outside my head. But I wanted to write it down for myself and share it...
Mental Illness Awareness Week is October
5-11. That same week, our presidential candidates will hold a “town
hall” debate—in which up to a quarter of the audience are likely to have
experienced a mental illness.
That’s because one in four
adults lives with depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental illnesses every year. That’s almost 60
million Americans.
Mental illness does not
discriminate between Republicans and Democrats. It can strike anyone at any
time.
Mental health is part of health care and it is essential
that it be included in the nation’s health care reform debate.
Mental illness affects children. It affects people of color.
Two million Americans live with schizophrenia—twice the number of those with
HIV/AIDS. One in five veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan—almost 300,000
troops—will experience major depression or PTSD upon returning home. Unfortunately,
two-thirds of people who live with mental illnesses do not receive treatment.
But treatment works. Recovery is possible. Between now and
Election Day, every candidate needs to talk about these facts.
For more information, contact the
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 800-950-NAMI (6264) or visit www.nami.org.
I am the one in many
people's lives who provides them with their basic human needs. What others may
take for granted - washing, dressing, bathing, eating - some people are unable
to perform these tasks and they depend on me. I am the one who goes to great
lengths to maintain their privacy and dignity while helping them do things that
many others are able to do on their own. I am the one they rage at, venting
their frustration, anger, confusion and fear. I am the one who performs care,
even though doing so will often put me in the position of being physically and
verbally abused at the hands of those I care for.
I am the one who rides out the storms of my resident’s emotions right alongside
of them. I am the one who searches high and low throughout the building for a
misplaced item that one of my residents is desperately looking for. I am the
one who hears "I want to leave" from the lips of my residents
sometimes several times a night, and comforts them the best way I know how. I
am the one offering hugs and smiles in a dark and lonely world, where many
times, the staff becomes the only family a resident has. I become their source
of love, acceptance and friendship. I am the one who tries to quell loneliness
and depression in the people I care for, sometimes resorting to singing,
sometimes just acting silly to coax a smile. I am the one who makes them know
that someone still cares about them.
I am the one who listens when no one else listens. I listen as my residents
repeat stories from their past over and over again, and offer my words of
amazement or encouragement over their accomplishments and memories. I am the
one who validates them as a person, who ensures they know they still have great
worth as a human being, even though they are mentally ill and their lives have
changed, I always try to offer hope where it is needed.
This is why I do what I do. Does your job offer that satisfaction?
